Tuesday, October 01, 2013

2013 Wild Card: Reds at Pirates

We are boiling turkey vulture, horses, and pigs above the portcullis of our mangificent beer fort.

We are also eyeing (hopefully) a little space on the beer fort wall. With mild re-arranging, there could be room there for another 8x10. But an 8x10 of--of Cutch? Pedro? Walker? Liriano? Byrd? It is pleasing to consider the possibilities.

Beer fort light show at seven-fifty-five. Cueto and Liriano at eight.

106 comments:

  1. i feel like i'm about to go on a first date..butterflies, dry throat, staring at the clock

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  2. Rowdy3:16 PM

    Me too. As often as the Pirates make the playoffs, you'd think that we'd be used to this.

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  3. Rowdy3:17 PM

    Actually, I know a cure for dry throat.

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  4. Travis3:18 PM

    I predict the French Rifle will climb to the top of a Beer Fort Rampart and direct an Enfilade Fire from Liriano at the Red coats.

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  5. Rowdy3:36 PM

    Good prediction.

    Dry throat: cured.

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  6. Iowa Pirate7:08 PM

    I'm as nervous as a whore in church!

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  7. Bones8:05 PM

    Ron Darling looks like he's spent quite some time in the Dandy House since retiring.

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  8. Bones8:08 PM

    Dynasty time - let's win this damn thing.

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  9. Bones8:12 PM

    Frankie's getting his FILTH on. Wow, never seen PNC so packed and crazy - they look like they're gonna get out pitchforks and torches.

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  10. Travis8:13 PM

    Liriano saying STFD!

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  11. Bones8:15 PM

    BUNTing early leads to big psychological advantage.

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  12. Rowdy8:16 PM

    Cueto gained a little weight on the DL.

    Marte not so good against righties.

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  13. Travis8:22 PM

    Laser beams from the Island of Dr Morneau cannot seem to avoid OFs.

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  14. Rowdy8:28 PM

    PITCHFORKS, TORCHES

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  15. Bones8:33 PM

    BYRDMANIA!

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  16. Travis8:33 PM

    Byrd says, "Is this not why you are here?"

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  17. Rowdy8:33 PM

    Hoka hey

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  18. Rowdy8:34 PM

    Entertained

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  19. Bones8:37 PM

    The French Rifle climbs to the top of a Beer Fort Rampart and unleashes vat of boiled vultures! PNC crowd getting into Johnny's head.

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  20. Bones8:40 PM

    Frankie singles!?! Cueto rehab start not looking good so far.

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  21. Bones8:43 PM

    Frazier goes Sanchezing into the dugout.

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  22. Never more impressed with a 10th man--the black and the "CWAAAY TO" chant is absolute genius!

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  23. Travis8:49 PM

    The Reds Infield Grass Assault cannot penetrate the Bastion of the Beer Fort.

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  24. Rowdy8:51 PM

    Time to score more runs.

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  25. Rowdy8:53 PM

    Expert broken-bat bunt there by Cutch.

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  26. Rowdy8:57 PM

    Reds are not slouching on defense.

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  27. Bones8:59 PM

    Might be time for the Reds to get Zach Duke up.

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  28. Travis9:02 PM

    Playoff pistol whippings produce much entertainment.

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  29. Bones9:02 PM

    Petey rescues a RISP hostage with the third most exciting play in all of baseball after bunt and defensive shift, the SAC FLY. Entertained.

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  30. Iowa Pirate9:02 PM

    Some of the whore washing off.

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    1. Rowdy9:19 PM

      That happens?

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    2. Bones9:25 PM

      I don't know, Brandon Phillips still seems like a big attention whore, even with the few days off.

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  31. Rowdy9:02 PM

    Paydro delivers.

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  32. Rowdy9:03 PM

    Reds defense overwhelmed by Pittsburgh's advanced bunting techniques.

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  33. Travis9:04 PM

    CUETO! CUETO! CUETO!

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  34. Iowa Pirate9:06 PM

    Entertained by HW blowing up!

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  35. Bones9:07 PM

    Announcers telling story of Clint Barmes' broken collar bone carrying deer meat up a flight of stairs. Clint last first choice to carry World Series Trophy up Beer Fort ziggurat steps.

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    1. Bones9:14 PM

      last choice not last first choice duh

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  36. Rowdy9:09 PM

    Beanball is up there with the sac fly.

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    1. Bones9:13 PM

      Agreed - beanball always entertaining.

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  37. Travis9:16 PM

    Whoa, near miss.

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  38. Rowdy9:18 PM

    Need more runs.

    Also more Burton Baton.

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  39. Bones9:22 PM

    And less Dusty Baker interview nonsense. Nobody wants to listen to him.

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  40. Rowdy9:22 PM

    Marte partay

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  41. Bones9:23 PM

    Fat umpire blocks Marte's triple into double. PITCHFORKS AND TORCHES seem to be working so far.

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  42. Rowdy9:25 PM

    Sean Marshall. Not surprised to see him summoned for Walker.

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  43. Rowdy9:27 PM

    Good time for a bunt here.

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  44. Rowdy9:28 PM

    Bunt Marshall's eye out

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  45. Bones9:31 PM

    NFW! We will ADD ON!

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  46. Rowdy9:31 PM

    Bunt double --play even better

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    1. Bones9:33 PM

      NFW doesn't know his strength - not every day you see a BUNT doubled off the wall.

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  47. Bones9:32 PM

    Marshall takes the BUNT away from Cutch with the free pass.

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  48. Rowdy9:38 PM

    Pretty exciting walk. Crowd going full yinzer.

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  49. Rowdy9:40 PM

    That Johnnie Walker Blue looks pretty tasty.

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  50. Bones9:41 PM

    When did the Reds sign Zagurski?

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  51. Neil's secret all along: A SCOTCH FORT!!! HW marshaling troops for chrissakes! Brandon Phillips is "prime time" don't forget.

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  52. Bones9:48 PM

    Bottles in SCOTCH FORT glued together with GRIT!

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  53. Bones9:53 PM

    GIDP also top five most entertaining plays in all of sports.

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  54. Rowdy9:56 PM

    This game has had it all. Now for some piling on.

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  55. Clint Barmes is a f*&$king GAMER! Frankie then puts on BUNTing clinic.

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  56. Liriano hustling like Cueto down the line. Nice bunt

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  57. Iowa Pirate10:02 PM

    Barmas with a tip of the cap to Travis.

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  58. Travis10:06 PM

    I like BarmHITs much better than BarmOUTs.

    It is all derived from the leg kick.

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  59. Cutch could have had that. Close

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  60. Love seeing the lefty ace mow down guys like Votto.

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  61. Frankie pours vats of boiling pigs on Votto and Phillips heads!

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  62. And cackles with glee!

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  63. Paging ... Zach Duke. whoa

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  64. Zach Duke looks a lot like Manny Parra. What are they feeding him?

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  65. Marlon already half-untucked.

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  66. Huh, never heard story about doctors considering to amputate Byrd's leg. Glad they didn't!

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  67. Petey's gonna will one into the river.

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  68. No quit in that Frazier.

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  69. Good stuff. Getting better.

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  70. You don't usher for 95 years and not learn where's the Johnnie Walker Blue.

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  71. The French Rifle climbs to the top of a Beer Fort Rampart and unleashes another vat of boiled vultures! Nice call, Travis.

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  72. Travis10:46 PM

    The French Rifle delivers the Coup De Grace...

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  73. What are they chanting now? Sounds like "whiskey bottle".

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  74. Russell Martin is now the Al Haig of this team. Clearly in charge. This TBS Network is an impressive high school outfit. Could they for once show us a bullpen shot so we know who might be coming in?

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  75. Mr. Watson, come here - I need you.

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  76. Iowa Pirate10:55 PM

    Iowa Kid

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  77. Security, please escort the non-black-wearing knucklehead who just gave Choo the dinger out of the ballpark. His wife and daughter can stay.

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    1. How do you even find a "light blue" t-shirt of that color? Where?

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  78. Iowa Pirate11:02 PM

    Fan gets an E

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  79. Travis11:05 PM

    Luckily this WILL NOT be Bartman 2.0.

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  80. That second knucklehead should be tossed as well, fans should know better.

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  81. Travis11:08 PM

    Fans need to STFD in their seats and not aid the enemy.

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  82. Pretzel run.

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  83. A few more runs here. Why are the Reds saving Chapman? Not complaining

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  84. Security also needs to escort the guy with the Walker sign with his name misspelled "NEAL" twice. Idiot. Surprised TBS waited until the 8th to show the Bream slide.

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  85. Fucking TBS.

    Ninth inning. Should be interesting. Grilli has not been lights out this last half month.

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  86. Maybe Grilli should hit someone here. Set up the GIDP

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  87. Or just get some outs. THat works

    Game 1 is Thursday?

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    Replies
    1. Yes, 8:30 PM EDT.

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  88. Travis11:23 PM

    Gotta love Latos yelling at fans from the dugout.

    I would reply back when is your tee time tomorrow???

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  89. The beer fort successfully defended! Entertained!

    Beer run time, then ON TO ST. LOUIS!!!

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  90. beer fort laser zeppelin on Rowdeo drive.. be there! be there! be there!

    damn it, that was a beauty, i mean a beauty!

    where are you Gino Cimoli?!?

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  91. Iowa Pirate12:56 AM

    Keystone Lights were $1 at Jimmie O's tonight, I'm wearing it .

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  92. My English wife said It sounded like an English soccer crowd. She thought it was cruel they were chanting the opposing pitcher's name and not rooting for their own batter. And I said this is what your people do, they get into the opposition's head, that's what they do...and then two batters later Martin hits his first home run and Cueto is shitting himself on the mound.

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  93. Rowdy3:53 PM

    The PG explained the Cue-to chant as hockey fan behavior, which I thought was pretty spot on.

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  94. One of my favorite stories from yesterday was that Liriano showed up for his start with his suitcase, packed for St. Louis. He willed it.

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